How To Win Back Influence As A Parent

As parents, we want to influence our children and we get frustrated when out our children’s friends start influencing them instead. Despite this, it is normal and it’s natural for our children to move towards their peers and away from parents.

Why are peers so influential?

Our children are starting to identify who they are as people, we call it identity formation. They’ve got to figure out who they are and where they fit in. They are also trying to fit into a group, so being socially cohesive will be a priority.

How do I win back influence as a parent?

By investing time – We’ve got to build the relationship, not by constantly correcting and directing our kids, by spending time with them, asking open questions and just getting to know them as they grow.

Understand their situation – Try to understand how life is for them actually and the pressures they face.

Talk about the decisions – Start conversations about the decisions their friends are making and ask for their opinion. For help with some of the bigger topics see our other resources – how to talk about drugs or alcohol with your children.

Remember, this is more about listening than lecturing – Dr Justin Coulson